My friend Rob Anderson posted this on Facebook yesterday. This link might work better.
At least one friend has censored my use of the
word "jab" to refer to injections. Sorry, I read
The Guardian a lot. And the word 'shot' is
triggering--deep childhood trauma... So I'm
asking for a vote of preferred word choice.
Please elect one of the following (yes, I know
they are not exact synonyms):
Jab
Shot
Injection
Vaccine / Vaccination
Fauci Ouchie
Note: your input won't affect my verbal behavior...
I proudly out myself as the person who tried to help Rob by objecting to his sudden and embarrassing adoption of “jab” in the last couple of months. Rob became a kind of Coronavirus himself with little “jabs” sticking out everywhere, attaching themselves to our ears! He’s actually contagious: just look at these well-meaning friends of his, all going “jab”, “jab”, “jab”, “jab” ….
While I can accept a defense of childhood trauma, I have to question whether he’s traumatized by all the words in his list. Rob, were you traumatized by “injection”, “vaccination” as well as by “shot”?
“Jab” has begun to traumatize me! Have pity!
As far as I recall, Rob never used the word until the Pandemic. Surely he must have used another word before being brainwashed by the Guardian and people with haughty accents.
Marian Sue Kirkman correctly notes that “The line between jaunty and precious is sometimes blurry…” but she’s too polite to point out that Rob has crossed it. As the poets wrote, “Ich habe genug!”
Perhaps the worst aspect of “jab” is that it’s outdated “vulgar” slang beloved by British politicians, their medical system and stuffy British media. In fact, some British think that the word is American (!), no doubt due to Anglophilies like Rob who think they are being trendy. (See accompanying poem and especially the comments.)
I encourage Rob to teach us cool new British words like “dench”, “peng”, “piff”, “clapped”, “wavey”, “gwarning”, “rah”, “skrr”, “safe!”, “bombaclart/bloodclart”, “wasteman”, “thirsty”, “paigon”, “scrape”, “sket”, “rents”, “next man”, “mandem”, “gyaldem”, “fam”, “mate”, “m9”, “brudda”, “peng ting”, “roadman”, “donny”, etc.
In spite of his pig-headed linguistic stubbornness (“your input won’t affect my verbal behavior…”) Rob remains my M9.
My M9 George has benevolently tried to direct me
away from my churlish and naive ways, and I see
now he may have a point. I didn't mean to needle
him or others; I merely sought to use a ten-cent
word rather than a twenty-dollar Latinate one.
(And, yes, maybe, I wanted to be a bit jaunty
[< French gentil].) Perhaps I should inoculate myself
against misunderstanding by using more emojis (😉, 😬),
or inject more obvious humor to lighten things up.
In his well-meaning effort to enlighten me,
though, my dear compadre has made jabs of his own.
I was especially pricked by being called
"pig-headed," "contagious," and *sniff* a
"Coronavirus"! I don't think he intended to stick
it to me, pierce the veil of civility, or puncture
the balloon of our friendship. So I suffered no
percutaneous scarification 😬, and, whereas I may
not abandon my use of 'jab', I will seek to vary
my vocabulary. (I am increasingly fond of "Moderna
vaccine.") Hopefully, further adverse reactions
will be rare, and there will be no soreness at
this site.
PS: If I do say 'jab', it doesn't make me a Tory
or a Brexiteer!